John Wesley

Methodists have always been more lenient on the issue of drinking than other Christian denominations, believing that alcohol, if not abused, can help a believe appreciate God's creation. In essence, it as simple as your Inspirational Quote of the Day, a favorite saying of John Wesley, "There's things here! There's rocks, there's trees, there's squirrels! C'mon, we'll bless them until we get farshikkert!"

Robin Hood

Many people don't know that the folk hero Robin Hood was based in part on an actual outlaw, whose name can best be approximated as Robin Wood. Interestingly, his motto was not, in fact, "Rob from the rich and give to the poor," but, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "You gotta be a man to wear tights."

General Bernard Montgomery

One of the more talented generals of World War II was the British General Bernie Montgomery, who was, unfortunately, not talented at public speaking. Before the battle of El Alamein, he reportedly told his troops, in your Less-Than-Inspirational-Quote of the Day: "We are on a crusade to stamp out runaway blondeness in North Africa. You men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award for Best Supporting General in a Major War."

Billy the Kid

One time, when Billy the Kid was gathering a new gang for a string of robberies, a young man approached, wanting to join. While the young man's name is lost to history, their conversation was recorded in legend, to be your Inspirational Quote of the Day: "Previous Crimes?" "Stampeding Cattle." "That's not much of a crime." "Through the Vatican?" "Ahh, Kinky."

King George VI

Many kings are known for their extravagance and propensity to exploit power, but some of the more beloved monarchs were more reserved, including WWII era King George VI, who, responding to the adulation following victory in Europe, said, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "It's g-g-good to be the king."

Brigham Young

One of the problems of polygamy is that the husband has to remember multiple anniversaries and other such dates, while it is well known that husband have trouble remembering even one on most occasions. Fortunately, Brigham Young, a prominent early Morman figure, was blessed with an incredible memory, and was only left with the problem of buying multiple gifts, which can be costly. Thus, he invented a new gift, which was, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "It's gotta be something special, it's my dick in a box!"

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson has always been well known as a wordsmith in the context of legal, patriotic, and other writing ventures, but it is less famously known that he was often moved to song. One of his muses was a slave named Sally, with whom he had a longstanding affair. Your Inspirational Quote of the Day is a song written for her and performed with his friend Akon. It goes, "I just had Sex! And it felt so good!"

Adolph Hitler

Few people know that Hitler, in addition to being a painter and aspirant world dominatrix, was also a songwriter. Your Inspirational Quote of the Day is an excerpt from one of his songs. "I saw the stormtroopers walking there, big blue eyes and hair so far. One looked at me and then I swear I Jizzed in My Pants."

Christopher Columbus

Christopher Columbus was not the only explorer who wanted to find a Westward passage to India, in fact he was locked in a bitter rivalry to get funding for such a voyage. Legend has it that when he was departing on his fateful trip in 1492, his rival, whose name has been lost to history, was on the dock. Columbus saw his rival and called out to him, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "I'm on a boat, Motherfucker, don't you ever forget!"

King Henry

The ideals of manliness and virility that are often associated with today's gang culture hark back to past centuries, when they were, often, values of the ruling class. The perceived, or actual lack of such qualities can undermine a ruler's authority, and lead to violent lashing out. King Henry was reported to often threaten whoever was his wife at the time, saying, in your less than inspirational quote of the day, "is King Henry going to have to choke a Bitch?!"

Duke Ellington

Musicians are often noted as having hard living, hard partying lifestyles, that often lead to early demise. On of the long-living jazz stars, Duke Ellington, survived to be interviewed and pass on his wisdom to younger generations. During one interview, he was questioned about the destructive behavior he exhibited, including grinding his feet on couches, making jokes related to the darkness of Sydney Portier's skin, and being a misogynist in general towards women. His response was brief, but powerful, in your inspirational quote of the day, "Cocaine is a helluva drug. I'm Rick James, Bitch!"

Andrew Carnegie

In the early days of industrialization, many of the famous businessmen we know today as "robber barons" would gather in upstate New York at one or another's summer retreats to compare their vastly growing fortunes, drink expensive alcohol, and compare the latest in monocle styles. Andrew Carnegie was originally not invited to these gatherings, but when he finally was, he rolled onto Rockefeller's yard in a panel truck, (the world's first) and proclaimed to the men, "I got cigars fo' me an' my family for the rest of my life! I'm Rich Bitch!"

Abigail Williams (the Head Witch of Salem)

Like Friday's quote, the quote for today has a long political history. As anyone who has read Arthur Miller's play "The Crucible" will know, Abigail Williams was the young lady whose actions lead to the Salem Witch trials, and was chief in accusing various people of witchcraft. What is less commonly known is that she later ran for town council. Like a more recent female politician, her political slogan was, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day is, "I am not a Witch."

Saladin

Many well known words and phrases have an interesting habit of changing loyalty over the centuries. Famously, the word "infidel" was coined by Christians during the age of the Crusades to describe followers of Islam, is now used by Muslim extremists to describe Christians. Another, whose history is less well known, is now popular among war hawks promoting war with Islamic nations, was coined by Saladin, during the Siege of Jerusalem. Your inspirational quote of the day is "Kill 'em all, and let Allah sort 'em out." Fortunately, the King surrendered, and was spared, along with all of the population of the city.

Howard Taft

Howard Taft was famous for his girth all the way back to his college days, but fewer people know that his wife, Minnie, was, in her day, equally famous for putting the vice-president, president, then Supreme Court Justice on diets, allowing him to indulge only on special occasions. Thus, it was with hope in his eyes that he looked towards her, upon hearing that he had won the presidency, and implored her, "I can haz CheezBerger?"

Samuel Adams

Everybody learns about the founding fathers when they are young, but most people don't know much about them except what they learn in class. For instance Sam Adam's was a popular brewer in Boston both before and after the war, also leading a great advertising campaign, the headline slogan being, "It's my beer! It'll get ya drunk motherfucker!"

George Washington

George Washington is famously the only president elected unanimously, albeit with a smaller group of voters than in any other election. Legend has it that his campaign speech was brief, powerful and inspiring, but had been lost to history. However, a transcript of the speech has recently been found, along with a lock of his hair, kept by an admiring female supporter, who, of course, could not vote. His speech, it turns out, was, "Who has two thumbs and won independence from England? This guy."

Odysseus

Historians have long believed that Odysseus was in the Trojan Horse when Troy was conquered, but new evidence suggests that he, feeling slighted by three of the other Greek generals, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, left on the eve of battle, telling them, "Screw you guys, I'm going home."