Mordred

Mordred, King Arthur's stunted son and nephew, (look it up, it's kind of a long story) is infamous for killing his father and breaking apart the renowned Round Table. Mordred was actually reported to be a very sweet child, until his mother Morgause gave him a Ring that turned him invisible, but also nursed his evil side. It was this Ring that inspired his treacherous ways, which were only stopped when Gawaine chased him into the mountains after finding him stroking the Ring and saying, in your Ingrateful Quote of the Day, "My...Precious..."

King Arthur and Queen Guenevere

King Arthur and Queen Guenevere were one of the English speaking world's first power couples, and while they were close after time, they were an odd couple for many years. Arthur, who was a tall, freckled redhead, focused on his ideas of right and wrong and justice, could not understand the emotions that Gwen claimed that women had. This misunderstanding erupted often in arguments such as your Inane Argument of the Day, "One person couldn't feel all that, they'd explode!" "Oh Arthur, just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon!"

Moses

One of the most inspiring figures of the Bible is Moses, who led the Israelites out of Egypt. Moses had a flare for the dramatic, for instance, when he turned his staff into a stake or turned the Nile red. One of his climactic moments came once his people were safely across the Red Sea, with the Pharaoh pursuing furiously. Moses turned, faced the Egyptians, rapped his staff on the rocs, and shouted, in your Intimidating Quote of the Day, "You Shall Not Pass." The water fell in and destroyed the pursuing army.

Merlin

Everyone knows of the wizard Merlin, originally spelled Merlyn, who was famous for being King Arthur's mentor, a powerful magician, and, if you believe T.H. White, a charmingly dottering old man who lived backwards in time and liked to reminisce about his future times at Cambridge. One of the less well known tales was how he found out that he was magically gifted. On his 13th birthday, a giant man broke into his house (he was living with his aunt and uncle at the time) and told him, very, dramatically, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "You're a wizard, Merlyn."

Doc Holliday

While many detectives are quiet and work on solving crimes, many lawmen are tasked with stopping crimes from happening. When reason and kindness fail, they must not be afraid to confront criminals, using intimidation, and force if necessary, to control the situation. One such lawman was Doc Holliday, who famously carried a sawed off shotgun under his coat. After the shootout at the OK Corral, he found one of the bandits in a barn. When the injured man looked at his own gun, Holliday raised his shotgun and said, in your Intimidating Quote of the Day, "This is Doc Holliday's famous shotgun. It has killed more men than you've ever met. It'll blow your hand clean off. Now, I don't remember if I reloaded it after the shooting or not, so you gotta ask yourself, do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

Inspector Jacques Clouseau

Many detectives are quiet while they work, in order to create an aura around them until they pronounce the guilty party. Sherlock Holmes was a prime example of this. Some detectives never quite mastered this skill, and the inner dialogue that results can often be entertaining. Inspector Clouseau, of Pink Panther fame, was a prime example of this, and one of his lines has been a classic with the Paris Police, in your Introspective Quote of the Day, "Like a midget in a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes."

Bob Marley

Many performers have experience with law enforcement, often not in the best light, and will sing about their experiences. One such performer was Bob Marley, whose song "I shot the Sheriff" is probably the most famous confession ever. One of his other songs reminds would be wrongdoers to have an "exit strategy" when planning would be illegal enterprises. So remember to ask yourself, in your Inquisitive Quote of the Day, "Bad Boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"

Sherlock Holmes

Some of the most famous crime solvers of history came to the profession through a roundabout habit. Sherlock Holmes was famous for his many underworld connections once his stories were told, but it was not discussed that often, these connections were remnants of his earlier life outside the law. This attitude was to hold over into his professional crime solving career, when he often let the official authorities know exactly how much more intelligent he was than them. In fact, he was often heard to rap, with Dr. Watson dropping the beat with his cane, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "Fuck the Police, coming straight from the Underground!"

John Rockefeller

John Rockefeller, a ruthless businessman who was one of the leaders of the robber barons, was famously aggressive in his business dealings. The great man was, however, not as aggressive in his romantic conquests, which was interesting, at a time when such men were commonly allowed to have mistresses, and their wives could not complain. Once, responding to his friends' questions, he explained that his lust was for money, not women, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "Fuck Bitches, Get Money."

William Shakespeare

Billy Shakespeare, the greatest wordsmith every according to an impromptu poll I just took at the bar, was known for his flowery language and imagery, and brilliance 10 syllables at a time. His language and mode of communication is the model for romantics the world over, but, in his personal romantic conquests, preferred a more visual tactic. As he explained to one of his cohorts one night over a pint, his approach was to send a simple note, with your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "I'll send that bitch a Smiley face, Bitches love Smiley faces."

Sigmund Frued

Sigmund Frued, the great bullshit artist whose greatest joke is still considered an academic discipline, was famously quotable, including "Sometimes a cigar is just a Cigar," and "I want to Know my mother carnally. But today, we focus on his attitude towards females that weren't his mother, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "Bitches Be Crazy."

Albert Einstein

Many scientists and other great minds are well known as womanizers, which causes problems for some, but some handle it with subtlety and quick wit, keeping it from disturbing their work. One such brilliant thinker was Albert Einstein, who gave us famous formulas and the Theory of Relativity, who described his dealings with the ladies in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."

General George Patton

While most historians believe that Adolf Hitler committed suicide in a bunker surrounded by Russians, the truth is that the suicide story is a cover up for a covert American operation that snuck General George Patton into German/Russian territory to take the privilege of killing Hitler for the good old U. S. of A. Upon discovering the Furher hiding under his bed, Patton pulled him out, aimed both of his famous revolvers at the Austrian's stupid little mustache, and before pulling the triggers, said, in an over the top Austrian accent, "Hasta la Vista, Baby."

General Douglas Macarthur

Many figures in the past have had to accept defeat, knowing that they would return stronger, victoriously. One such figure was General Douglas MacArthur, who was forced to retreat from the Philippines at the beginning of World War II. Upon leaving, he foretold his own return, saying in his thick German accent, "I'll be back."

Walter Chrysler

Another, more successful auto pioneer was Walter Chrysler, who rebuilt several brands and founded Buick before creating his own company in 1925. In response to his former GM partners' critical remarks, Chrysler told a reporter outside his namesake building in New York, "They see me rollin, they hatin, Patrollin, they try to catch me ridin dirty."

William Pontiac

Another early pioneer of the automobile was William Pontiac, whose efforts at cruising and hip hop were less successful than Mr. Ford. After sliding his vehicle sideways into a post office, he confusedly, (probably with a concussion) told the first mounted officers on the scene, in your less than Inspirational Quote of the Day, "Now I'm feeling so Fly like a G6"

Henry Ford

Many people know Henry Ford as the man who brought the automobile to the masses, pioneered the moving assembly line, and started Kingsford Charcoal as a side project. What many people don't realize is that he was also an early pioneer in hip-hop and the art of "cruisin." Early accounts place him driving 15 miles an hour around Detroit in his Quadricycle, drink in hand, singing, in your Inspirational Quote of the Day, "Rollin' down the street, smokin' Endo, sippin' on Gin and Juice, (with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.)"